Cobra "Zombie Squad" Sylvester Stallone Badass Movie T-Shirt
Marion Cobretti anyone??? You gotta remember this cult classic Sylvester Stallone film... for some strange reason the ridiculously cool "Cobra" movie has been shamefully overlooked with time... who knows why, but perhaps it's due to the films zero-tolerance approach to crime... commit it, and your dead!
So I'll say it straight out... this slab of (now) underground classic, is giving my favorite movie of all time (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) a serious run for it's money... just writing about it makes me want to watch it again, and I just watched it last night!
I always get a good viewing with this classic 80's action spectacular... very few cult films can hold me through the entire hour and ninety minutes (more than once), but Cobra does it easily. That's likely because there's always another killer scene, right after the next sappy 80's interlude song.
Speaking of, there's an exceptionally unusual charm when you mix hardcore violence with Miami Sound Machine's "Suave"... a heady cocktail of neon and blood, seems to rings a bell that can't be unrung. Cobras music and visuals could be argued the Chocolate and Peanut Butter of old action hero films!
The epic display of unapologetic vigilante ultra-violence, jam-packed with cheesy one liners, constant sunglasses wearing, truly cold-blooded bad-ass neo-fascist cult-biker anarchy-villians (yeah, you heard me!), the sexy Red Sonja...
... and not to mention a wicked, wicked, (wicked!!!) 1950 Ford Mercury chopped-and-dropped muscle car, complete with jet fighter 4-way seat belts, built-in NOS (with a dedicated flip-up missile launch switch), pizza platter rims and the infamous "AWSOM 50" license plate... all of which happens to get launched off the top of a parking garage (Dukes of Hazard / General Lee and Smokey and the Bandit / Trans Am, we loves you guys... but you ain't got nothing on this car crash combo!!)... c'mon, driving in reverse while shooting a machine gun out the window at the bad guys chasing you, as if that's how a car were normally driven. Priceless.
Cobra is pretty much the BEST representation of what made 1980's movies so much fun... it's one of the few movies that was dead serious, but didn't take itself seriously... where else can you see Stallone cut pizza with scissors... or tear the shirt right off a man's chest?
Then there's the Night Slasher... that huge skeleton looking guy, who went on to become the alien enforcer in the TV show 'X-Files'... one of the best bad dudes in film history, like Javier Bardem bad (No Country for Old Men). He's the serial killer leader of the cult faction, the "New Order".
In case you remember this movie being anything other than hardcore, I'll just leave you with a little reminder of the Night Slashers character... this movie plot ain't no Schwarzenegger's 'Commando' little girl nonsense:
"Let's bleed pig! I want your eyes pig! I want them! You wanna go to hell? Huh?! Huh pig?!!! You wanna go to hell with me? Doesn't matter, does it? We are the hunters! We kill the weak so the strong survive! You can't stop the New World. Your filthy society will never get rid of people like us! It's breeding them! We are the future!!"