Michael Jackson "Crossbones" Urban Afro Pop T-Shirt
Never mind Michael Jackson's controversial public life, that's really not the point anymore... but here's the rundown of the strange, and the followup of the good:
- We know he had a strange personality (a lot to do with his childhood, and child stardom).
- We know he affected himself through massive plastic surgery disasters (an attempt to become white, or a brilliant move to revive his media attention occasionally?).
- We know his hair caught on fire during a Pepsi commercial (perhaps inspiring him towards a life of facelifts and Nip/Tucks).
- We know he was a prescription drug user (Hollywood's a bitch!)
- We know he was a huge target for stupid people (that thought they could exploit his kindness for money).
- We know he hung a baby over the edge of a balcony (weird, but it was just an innocently bad idea).
- We know he slept in a Hyperbaric chamber (which I would do too, if I could afford one --- oxygen keeps you young!!).
- We know he had a theme park for a house, Neverland Ranch (c'mon, the guy is the most famous entertainer of all time... that's what you do to one-up your neighbors house!!)
- We also know he had a monkey named "Bubbles", that probably slept in his bed (meh, I prefer Big Cats).
So those are the questionable aspects of Michael Jackson's INSANELY SUCCESSFUL LIFESTYLE... you too might have picked up some of those quirky traits walking in his shoes (with 50 Million dollars in your pocket)!
But what else do we know about this incredibly polarizing figure?
- Damn, that boy could dance... he invented the infamous "Moonwalk"... but not everyone recalls that he also invented the "Robot". Yeah, he invented the Xerox of dance moves... a move so synonymous with human beings alter-ego, that people just know it, instinctively. It was MJ that introduced it to the people... Sonny and Cher weren't doing the Robot in the 60's.
- Besides writing stupidly groovy songs like "Thriller", "Beat It" and "Billy Jean" (sing is not my lover sing)... he was the driving force of the "Jackson 5" and perhaps the catchiest song EVER written "ABC (123)"... a song that bumped The Beatles "Let it Be" out of the number one spot on the Billboard charts, eventually to be bumped out of #1 itself by the The Guess Who's uber-anthem rock monster "American Woman"... now that, is some serious competition.
- Jackson's early music videos were staples of a young MTV station, known for shaping the music video into an art form capable of promoting a bands image... MJ's videos helped pave the way for love-to-hate shows such as: The Real World, Jersey Shore, Jackass, The Tom Green Show, Liquid Television (Æon Flux!!!), Bevis and Butthead, The Jon Stewart Show, Pimp My Ride, Punk'd, Viva la Bam, the Newlyweds and The Osbournes... the last of which is the only show that's even remotely related to "Music Television", go figure... (heh, I suppose this point could have gone in the negatives).
- Michael Jacksons "Thriller" album has been the "Best-Selling Album of ALL Time" for the last 30 years (1982)... and that's not marketing hype or casual exaggeration, that's fact. No other band can even compete on that level, since the next bands down the list are AC/DC "Back in Black" and Pink Floyd's "Darkside of The Moon"... both only reaching into the high 40's, compared to Thriller's staggering 110 Million copies sold since 1982 (double, and then some)... that's simply amazing... MJ earned his crossbones, right there.
- But that's not all... he was a badass... at one point he outbid Paul McCartney on an auction for The Beatles catalog of music... that's a tough move man, sticking it to the Beatles like that (that's a Players move) ... I can just see him and "Paul" fist fighting with their shoes off, in one of those rainbow colored bouncing balloon castles! ;)
Man, I could continue on here... we haven't even mentioned that he was one of the very FEW artists inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, TWICE... or that he holds multiple Guinness Book of World Records (I don't think he actually TRIED to get any of them either, they just 'happened' for him naturally --- WTF!?!?!)... besides that, he earned like 13 chart topping #1 hit singles, 13 Grammys, 26 American Music Awards, and HUNDREDS of other awards that adorn him the title of "The Most Awarded Recording Artist in the History of Popular Music
Which is also probably one of his Guinness Book or World Records. facepalm